The Hobbit, the Timelord and the Bowtie
by TheWhovianEagle
Summary: After Rory was swallowed up by the crack in time, and the 11th Doctor tries to cheer Amy up. Join Amy and the Doctor on an accidental adventure through Middle Earth, meeting old characters and new! Meet Lyle, a Hobbit who want's nothing better than to have some excitement in her life. The trio bond, in an odd way. They wind up making odd fashion choices, battling enemies. Enjoy!


**(A.N; Hellooo, fanfiction! This is my first time submitting anything here, so please don't give me a hard time! There may be some issues with the continuity in both Middle Earth and the Who-niverse (Is that even a term?), but I tried my best. This takes place when 11 and Amy had just visited Van Gogh, after Rory was sucked back in time. As some may know, 11 felt bad for Amy so he took her to all these extravagant places. This story, is as if he took her to Middle Earth. I tried my best to also include some "remembering Rory" moments, but you'll see more in the oncoming chapters. I will also be introducing a whole new plot-line for the Tolkien universe (don't kill me), a bit of a Hobbit police system. You will be meeting a few original characters, one the Captain of this particular system. You will also get to seem some Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, and a fwe more main characters. You will also get to meet a character that I'm pretty sure there are a few fictions about, Aragorn and Arwen's son. So, I do hope you enjoy! This is my first time, positive feedback is appreciated! Disclaimer; I own nothing, except for Lyle!)**

* * *

"I still miss Van Gogh." Amy whined, as she shuffled around the console. They were currently in orbit around Earth, but Amy wasn't sure when.

"Oh shut up." The Doctor said, turning a page in the book he was reading a little too hard—which lead to a small tear, making him even more infuriated, for it reminded him of Rory getting swallowed by the crack in time.

"Say, watcha readin'?" Amy said, completely ignoring the Doctor's current state. "Oooh, Lord of the Rings. I saw the movies." She said, absentmindedly. "I distinctly remember having a large crush on Aragorn and Legolas." She said with a laugh. The Doctor tried to ignore that last part.

"Yeah? Well, I met Tolkien once." He said with a nervous laugh. "Very nice guy, bit scatterbrained. Sometimes acted like he himself was Gollum, for whenever I tried to read his drafts he got really overprotective."

"Really?" Amy said, leaning on the chair he was sitting in. "Bloody English Professors and their grammar errors."

"Say," The Doctor said, perking up with an idea to cheer both him and Amy up. "Would you like to go to Middle Earth?"

"What, it's real? That's impossible. Hear me? I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E. It's just a story."** (A.N; Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Well Amy, you thought Melody Malone was a story at first too…)**

The Doctor smiled internally. "Well, Amelia Pond, you are about to be proven wrong." He stands, tossing the book into her hands. "We, my dear, are going to Middle Earth. Although I must tell you, once we get there I'm going to have to cloak the TARDIS. It's a large energy drain, but necessary. Don't want any Orcs on here." He said, maneuvering around the core. "As for you, you need to wear something more suitable. Mini-skirts aren't exactly invented yet."

"What about you, and that silly bowtie of yours? And your tweed for god's sake!" Amy complained, as she began to walk to her quarters in the TARDIS.

"Ah, I should blend in well enough. I'm like a chameleon." **(A.N; Yeah, blah blah blah Chameleon Circuit. He is just pretending a hologram onto the irises of the people who see's him, but you'll see how that backfires… Soon…)**

A few minutes later, Amy emerged in a medieval-esque dress, with a full blown bodice and hair piece. "This feels Victorian. Doesn't it, Doctor?" She said, moving to stand beside him as he piloted.

"Shoo! There's something wrong with the controls, give me a mi—" He didn't get to finish his sentence, for both Amy and the Doctor were blown away from the interface, flying onto the railings.

"Ah, crashing! Hang on!" He shouted.

"Not like I have any choice?!" Amy bit back.

"Oh, your so Scottish sometimes.." He muttered.

"What's that?" She said, glaring.

"Nothing, nothi—" He was interrupted by another jolt, them finally coming to a stop.

"Alright, we should be on even ground now. I can only hope we landed somewhere not too conspicuous…"

"OOH! I wanna go out first!" Amy said, giddily, pushing past the Doctor and right out the TARDIS door—into the face of a glaring Hobbit.** (A.N; The TARDIS cloaked as it landed, so she can't see it. It looks as if Amy and the Doctor are coming out of nowhere.)**

"Uh… Doctorrr?" She said, stepping back as the Doctor came out of the TARDIS. The hobbit didn't move, but continued on glaring. Amy noticed her surroundings finally. Various patches of destroyed grain fields surrounded her, and she saw the wake the TARDIS left. It seemed as if it was near the end of Summer, for Amy observed that there was a bit of a wind that would not normally be in mid-August.

"Ah, sorry. I told you the cloak took up a lot of ener—" He stopped short when he noticed the glaring hobbit. "Oh, hello there. I'm the Doctor."

"I don't bloody care who you are, not at this moment, at least. You just destroyed one of the fields! This close to harvest time, too!" She said, stomping her foot.

"Well, she ain't very polite…" Amy muttered.

"Oy, who're you both?! What're you doing here? Ah, screw it all. You're both under arrest." She said, suddenly whirling and cuffing Amy, who cried out.

"Don't hurt her!" The Doctor cried, backing up defensively in the direction of the TARDIS.

"You, too mate! And what the bloody hell are you wearing? And the bowtie? Really? And what's that jacket made of? It looks like it's made out of sand and mud.." She commented, advancing.

"Hey! Tweed and Bowties are coo-" The doctor began to say, but was then cut off. The hobbit had caught him off guard, and cuffed him too.

"You. Both of you. Follow now. And no talking to each other, or you'll eat my dagger." She said abruptly, tying chains around the two of them and taking one end. She began to wal ahead, and the Doctor and Amy were forced to follow.

"She's not like the Hobbits we read about.. They're normally so polite!" She whispered quietly to the Doctor.

"I know! And how did she see through the projection? Gah! I don't know what's going on, let's see if I can get a little info out of her." He said, taking a deep breath. "Hey! You! Hobbit girl, whatever you are. What do I call you? Tiny? Furry foot? Frod-" he was met by a slap from the Hobbit.

"Lyle, mind you. And we don't like to speak about Frodo much anymore. Things have changed, and I know you obviously don't belong here." She said, turning around and walking a little closer than she had before.

"What happened, Lyle? Aren't Hobbits supposed to be nice and sweet?" Amy asked, and the Doctor elbowed her.

"No, don't ask her that!" He hissed.

"Alright, now I KNOW FOR SURE you don't belong here. Things have changed, after the end of the third age. After the Hobbitton was attacked, we created what I guess was a patrol, and became more pertinent in the world. Unlike what historians would like to write down, we aren't as happy as we may seem. The leaving of Frodo shook us. We've also have had outlanders," Lyle said, giving the two a nod, "visiting, causing a ruckus. Just because Sauron is gone hasn't stopped the crime." She said, exasperated. "It's been fifteen bloody years, mate. We're a lost cause. As much as we love the new King, we have ruling issues of our own."

"Ah, so Tolkien was WRONG about what happened after the war. Great job, Tolkien!" He shouted to the sky.

"Shut up, Doctor! You're breaking the fourth wall! It's real, you know!" Amy said, elbowing him. The pair hadn't noticed they had begun to climb uphill some grassy hills. They could see small smoke clouds coming up ahead.

"Well," Lyle said, stepping aside. The two gasped. Various men and other races were along small booths in a centre area of Hobbitton. Various Hobbits bustled about, harvesting food since it was the season. From their view, it looked like an organized chaos.

"Welcome to the Shire."

* * *

**(A.N; Annd that's all I have for now! Since I feel a bit lazy, I'm going to wait a few days to see if I can get some feedback on the story. I tried my best, and remember this is my first time! Please don't be hard on me, I tried. And I just disproved Tolkien, by breaking the fourth wall, so don't complain about that (it makes the rest of the story easier). I promise all will be explained next chapter! And remember, if you like it, follow the story! And don't forget to give a positive review c:)**


End file.
